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Wednesday, March 10, 2010 @ 9:25 PM
Emo. Day 2.
Just got back from jogging. Intention was to take a bus down to S'goon stadium ( perpetually lazy as usual ), but I decided against it. I was like 'ok, don't be lame. stadium's only 5mins away'. I would usually do 3 rounds without stop but guess the jog to the stadium took up half my energy so I only managed 2 in the end. There was a soccer friendly going on so I sat down to watch for awhile.
Then, I cried.
Isn't jogging supposed to clear your head? I guess in a way, it did. Cleared my thoughts and the result? My tears.
I was reading a friend's blog about being passion. From where I sat, I could see the entire field and the soccer players positions. Then, I thought of the people around me who has a passion, who enjoys what they love and are almost always damn good at it. Of course, Wei Xiong came to my mind. His sport - futsal, even after stepping down from President of his club, he still goes back to school for training. Why? He mentioned that he is passionate about his sport and he loves his club.
See this is the kind of passion I am referring to. My 2nd sister is good in sales/marketing. Selling 10-20 Apple macbooks per day is easy peasy. My dad enjoys bowling and from the trophies he collected over the years very much prove his passion for the heavy bowling ball knocking down 10 pins. And then I have friends from all walks of life, loving what they love. Meiyi loves ballet, Shifu's an arofanatic, Kelvin's an avid photographer, Zaki writes for IS-mag and I bet despite tangy deadlines he sure loves his job, Sharon enjoys baking, Sheena's all about the corporate world and in 5 years I can totally picture her in a power suit strutting down Shenton way, Stef gave up law school for psychology because she 'wants to help people', Theo loves fashion, even the aunties in my office has a passion - Buying 4D.
And why my tears fell? Because it hit me that I do not have something that I am truly passionate about. I enjoy a lot of things in life, just don't have one specific area that I am exceptionally good at. I love singing, love being in the kitchen-cooking, love arts&crafts, love scrap-booking, love reading, love going to the movies, love solitude.
But loving something and being passionate about it draws a fine line. I don't think I excel in any of the above. Who doesn't love singing/cooking/reading? All these are mere hobbies.
And then, after drying my tears, I thought again.
I am passionate about everything I love. And for everything that I love, I put my heart and soul into it. I do my best. And I believe, that is truly sufficient. At the very least, though it might not be of an excellent standard, I know when I indulge myself with my loves, I am happy.
