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Monday, July 12, 2010 @ 5:36 AM
Viva España, Viva Diana.
12th July 2010. A date never to be forgotten in my whole life.
It is proven that the team I root for ALWAYS goes home in tears. Lost 20 bucks to my sister (TYVM Paul the Octopus -.-). Damn. Can't the oranges' hold on for another 3 more mins to penalty?? Urghh. World Cup, see you in 2014.
You know, I never liked explaining myself. I never liked telling others the details of my every movement/happenings/private life. Which is, ironic? Hell yea. 'Coz what the !@#$ is my blog for right? Thou, I did mention this online journal would be an unravel of my innermost self, but since I made the rule, I can break it. A personal life is still private.
Quoting from Dr. Seuss : “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” To those who matters, thank you for your calls, your never-ending flow of texts and your silent prayers. Even though, I only briefly told a few (you know who you are) of what actually happened these past weeks. Seriously, I am fine. Yah 'fine' is a freaking fine line between okayyy and not okayyy, but really, I'm probably just emo-ing a little now. Still surviving, still strong.
A week ago, I made the rational decision to say goodbye to my Aussie dream. I fought for it hard, with truckload of tears and sleepless nights. But my family is more important. I couldn't risk incurring a potential financial burden because of my own personal gain. I cannot be selfish yet I still blame the failure of my perfect plan. You know how it feels to cancel a booked flight? To crush my own dream? It sucked wayyy beyond suck. I could have been on my way to T3 now with my luggage full of winter wear and excitement....!!
If only...
I guess, for every wrong, there is always a right; and for every thing that happened/did not happen, there is always a reason behind. For fate panned out that I do my studies here, I hereby resign to divine intervention. And if it's of any consolation to myself, yes, I'll still have a chance of studying abroad. But, that will be a later part of my uni life during the final semester. Prob end of 2011? And if everything goes smoothly, and finances well planned, I might be able to do my Masters abroad. That is, for the future of course.
As for now, I'll make do with being a poor, full-time Singapore student. yay.
Someone once told me on text(in the event that things do not turn out the way you want it to be), "move on and carry on with the next course of action". Easier said than done. Well, if I can make decisions with a rational mind, in another words, screw the emotional department, then I can safely say, "Yea, it is time to move on Diana".
Then again, who is to tell me not to think with my heart..? :(
'Alas, this is where my favourite line comes to play...
Sometimes, some things, are better left unsaid. I wish I could tell you, but I can't and I won't.
** p/s : 強, have an awesome TW backpacking trip!!! Come back safe.
