I thought my school life was over when I failed to get a pass for my EMaths (yep, during the year I sat for my o's, you had to get at least a C6 for maths to get into a polytechnic) eventhough I did a-okayy for my other subjects. B3 for most of my other subjects except Geog and D&T. My dad was fuming mad at my incompetence of securing a place in the polytechnics. I was only a teenager then, young and ignorant, not knowing what step I could take next. Dad has always been very strict about academic esp since I am his eldest daughter.

No, I never thought I was stupid. But I guess my parents' expectations of me was sky high. I remembered at the age of 10, I scored a 84(band2) for my maths and I nearly passed out in class knowing that I might not be able to get into the EM1 stream. You need to get full Band 1 for all subjects to be in the best class and I had a subject shy of a Band 1. I dared not tell my mum about my math result then. I eventually got pushed(prob by 1 mark) into the EM1 stream and that made my parents happy I guess. Then again, I utterly disappointed them when I got a low score of 225 for my PSLE and got posted to a co-ed neighbourhood school. My dad hated me being in a mixed school. He never really accepted the fact that I had boys as my classmates/friends until I got on to upper secondary. I remembered during a 'Meet-the-Parents' day after getting back my first final year result when I was Sec 1, my dad said something like this to me "So you think your results are good? How about you compare your standard with your friends in Cedar Girls or RGS?"

Until today, he has no idea that I was top 5 in Sec 1 and top 7 in Sec 2 for my level. But he knew for sure that I was in the bottom in my class in Sec 3 and Sec 4. I dropped pure physics and pure chem in Sec 3 and took combined science in Sec 4. I remembered attending school with ugly caned marks on my hands and legs and even had my form teacher asking me if I was okay.

Thus at 17, I felt like a total wreck after screwing up my o-lvls. I tried to leave my home, tried to run away from my dad.

If you really knew me, you would know that if given a chance, I might wanna repeat age 16 all over again. But I guess everything happens for a reason. If I did well for my o's and took the "standard singapore education path", I wouldn't have been who I am today. I wouldn't have met the people I met, experienced the harsh coporate society at an age younger than most of my peers and most of all, matured in well-being. If my dad wasn't that strict with me, I would have just gave up at 17 and would never be able to know how poly life is...and eventually now, how uni life is like.

Yes, I may have taken the long road to complete my education. But I know for sure when I don that hat and gown, holding my cert; I would be happy beyond words. And I have my parents to thank for, the people around me who made an impact in my life, and most of all the ones who made me, the me today.

Everyone has a story to tell behind the mask that they portray to the world. So do I.