✗o✗o, Diana

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I always have the weirdest thoughts during shower time. I'd be washing my hair and thinking of "Scenario A", then scrubbing my back and my mind will wander off to "Scenario B". Reflection time is mostly done when I'm in the shower. Was washing my long hair and recalled the last time I had my long locks chopped off. I was nursing a broken heart then, and I needed to do something drastic. You know, like "gone-with-the-old-and-embrace-the-new-me" mentality. Girls do irrational stuff like that. I remembered weighing my lightest at 56kg, and I was constantly on the look out for interesting stuff to do. It was so tough. In the day I'll be like "ohh I'm okayyy", and when night falls, the loneliness sets in and many nights, I'll cry myself to sleep. Well, that was me, 5 years ago.

Point being, is it true that when one gets bogged down emotionally, one tends to engage in things that is totally out of character?

Let's call her, X. I don't know X personally but from what I've heard about her is that she is a seemingly nice person. You know, like the girl next door, guai guai kind. I just happened to click on her profile and saw her recent activities. She was enquiring on hiphop classes and beatbox lessons. Seriously, how cool is that. She took advantage of her newly single status and decided to do things that's over her comfort zone.

Here am I, being stagnant. What happened to the risk-taker side of me? Is it coz I am getting older and all I want is my life to remain as simple as possible. Have I comfortably settled on the safe side? What happened to the drive that is needed in life? What happened to exploring new things? What happened to my dream of opening a book cafe? What happened to picking up a new hobby? I've always wanted to learn gardening and plant my own herbs. What happened to losing 10kg? What happened to re-designing my room to a photo frames concept? What happened to picking up guitar and taking piano lessons?

No action, talk only.

I remembered when I had to put my life back into pieces back in '08, I was busy-ing myself with so many new exciting things. I learnt inline skating, took up yoga and dance lessons, signed on a gym membership, worked and completed my advanced diploma, and in the midst of my hectic lifestyle, I grew to love myself more and figured out what was I missing in life. Maybe I'm trying to compare the then and the me now. Had I been daring when I was younger, maybe I could be taking another route in life now. Probably the only thing that I actually persevered was blogging. I could have done something "big" like maybe join Nuffnang and be a popular blogger or something...but I was unwilling to share my personal life with so many strangers. But really, where is that ambitious side me?

It is not that simplicity is boring, but simplicity, if not careful, will turn into mundane. And when mundane takes over, then, what's the point of life? Shouldn't life be lived to the fullest since it is so short? Should one be merely contented over what they already have? Or strive for more because like what others say, "there is more to life than what it is now"?

On one hand man seems to always be complaining over what they don't have. Yet, when life becomes too complicated, man desires simplicity.

Oh, the irony huh.

**

If only life was as simple and sweet like that of a cat's...

Haha, oh how I envy Doug's Beanie. :)