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Saturday, February 27, 2010 @ 1:04 AM
Vexed with a capital V.
Something is disturbing me and I am trying to figure it out.
Yes, it's my B-L-O-G.
Ever since I was told that my blog has hence been exposed to people I don't know personally(but indirectly connected), I got pretty antsy. You know, it's not that I am doing anything illegal here. I am just like any other stranger, not a celebrity. It is just SCARY to know that nothing online is ever private. NOTHING. All bogs down to my perception of blogging and the bloody internet. Conclusion : If you have a non-private blog(all the best to you), BE PREPARED for blog visitors(duh). There is seriously nothing you can do to stop random strangers from stalking/logging on to your site because, your damn blog is not locked. Thus, there is no need to be a bitch and go "OMG HE/SHE STUMBLED UPON MY BLOG. HOWWWWW. "
Howwwwwww your head.
Then why, why am I sooOOooo affected by it?!! After all, it's only but a "fuck-your-mind-cyber-stalking-game", no?
I did, however, consider locking up this blog, but is it really that necessary? My sole intention of why I keep a blog was to allow myself the luxury of verbal diarrhea online. I'm not someone who likes to talk about my feelings, yet I hate to pretend as if everything is okay. I am not perfect nor am I fake. At times, I wish there was someone I could have a heart-to-heart conversation with about anything under the sun, anything about me. And no, I don't mean to say that my close friends are invincible. It is also not about the trust factor because my friends don't tell. Yes, they are 8 numbers away, but I'm not someone who'd ring them up in the middle of the night and go "hey, I'm bumped today. hear me out?" It's through my blog entries that gives away my current feelings, my latest updates.... blah blah. In fact, I'd actually appreciate that "you ask me about me because you read about me on my blog" (shit man I re-read what I typed and I think I am displaying signs of double standard here. read : previous entries about technology). When you ask me personally there and then, it at least gives me a platform to start telling you about how I feel,you know, so I can skip the initial awkward part. I must clarify though, I don't tell around. You must be someone really close to me for me to allow you in my private world to the extend that I am comfortable to cry in front of you. Then, I'll slowly open up.
Dammit. Am I that emotional?
I feel so vulnerable now.
Naked.
My blog does not judge, so I am comfortable blabbering randomness on it.
I hope you too, don't judge me just because I told you things you never knew about me.
